Friday, December 25, 2009

Favorite Singles of 2009

Even though we tend to talk about missing pop stars usually, I am going to take advantage of this space and start posting my thoughts on other things when opportunity allows. I wanted to share w/ you my favorite 25 singles of 2009. Starting w/ #25...

Bad Romance - Lady CaCa
Even though I can't stand Lady CaCa, I can officially say I like 2 songs by her now (the other being Poker Face). Bitch can write a catchy song.

24. Now I'm That Bitch - Livvi Franc
Barbados gave us something other than that hammerhead shark (aka Rihanna). Thank god! This song was and still is hot w/ it's piss off attitude.

23. Home - La Toya Jackson
The mere fact that Toy had a "new" single in 2009 is reason enough to have her own list. But the reality is its from the still never released Startin' Over (us Toy Soldiers have been waiting since 2006 for that shit to come out) earns it a lower spot on my list. A loving ode to her now gone brother Michael, the song really is a beautiful pop gem.

22. Day 'n' Night - Kid Cudi vs Crookers
I heard this one day on the radio when I was visiting home. I thought, wow a dance song on the radio. Turns out it was a remix. The original is pretty run of the mill, but this remix really polished a big turd. Kudos!

21. Shoes - Tiga
Not to be confused w/ this classic Shoes by Kelly. Tiga released this hot ditty earlier in the year and continued to dazzle us w/ his electro pop jams.

20. Lentamente/Let Me Show You - Fey
Fey came back in a big way in 2009. Though some may call her latest endeavors Kylie-light, it beats her atrocious last album Faltan Lunas by light years! Released in both Spanish and English, it's trashy and classy in either.

19. When Love Takes Over - David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland
I'm usually not one for these douchey DJs, but Mr. Guetta finally showed everyone else what we Beyoncé haters have known for years. Ms. Rowland is the real deal! She needs to just record an entire dance album and call it a day!

18. Trip - Stacey Q
Milk Carton fave Stacey Q released her long awaited single (by us die hard fans at least) in 2009. It did not disappoint! Vintage Q meets the new millennium.

17. She Wolf - Shakira
After that horrid Hips Don't Lie collaboration; I was really wary of whether or not Shakes could make up for it. She more than did. A song that features howling over a funky electro beat; and to top it off she dances inside a giant glittery vagina in the video! What's not to love?

16. Body Language - Heidi Montag
While everyone loves Lauren and her mustache on the Hills, I've always been rooting for bleached blonde bimbo Heidi. All Lauren did was launch a crappy clothing line that couldn't even sell at the discount bin at Wal-Mart. Heidi upped the pop trash bar w/ this Yaz sampling dancefloor ditty.

15. Dance Bailalo - Kat DeLuna
Oh Flop DeLuna. Will you ever have a hit? Honestly I could care less, but how this Sergio Mendes sampling song didn't blow still remains a mystery to me. At least she wised up and milked the gays for all their worth (hello Club Papi tour anyone?). I truly think she has a great voice and am anxiously awaiting her new album. Seriously.

14. Sexy People - Lolene
This is what trashy pop music is all about. A barely there voice; hypnotic beats; and a video that has lasers shooting into her cooter! Touchdown! I need more!

13. Why R U - Amerie
The first single from Amerie's In Love & War, this song proved to me that Amerie can do no wrong! With a rich sound and a yearning vocal delivery, it was only a sign of what was to come from her this year.

12. Do It Again - Fire & Reason
NYC's Fire & Reason haven't even released their latest EP yet; but if this song is any indication of what's to come. I'll be in heaven. I kick myself for not going to see them when they came to Chicago. Check out their electro rock funk for yourself.

11. No soy una señora - María José
María José's 2007 was one of the most overlooked pop albums of recent times. When I heard she was going the covers route for her sophmore release, I cringed in agony. Well I was in for quite a surprise when I heard her cover of Venezuela's Melissa and her 80s hit No soy una señora. While it's an obvious Katy Perry rip off, it's definitely a grower.

10. Took The Night - Chelley
The tranny anthem of 2009 is infectious, silly and just plain hot! If you don't believe me just check out all the vogue battles on youtube to this song! I think my favorite part of this song is the booming almost vibrating beat. I don't know what's cheaper, the video or the single cover.

9. I Want You - Fefe Dobson
If you would have told me in 2009 that I would like a Fefe Dobson song I would have said you're on crack. Well I stumbled upon this flop on my cable's "On Demand" feature and have been hooked ever since. With it's simple yet catchy lyrics and rocking guitars, it's a shame this infectious track hasn't been the mega hit it should be.

8. Ya terminé (Electro-Pop Version) - Patricia Manterola
Always overshadowed by Thalía and Paulina Rubio (why I'll never understand she's just as slutty and way prettier than both of them); Paty came back with a song that puts both of their snoozefests (aka their latest albums) to shame. Originally released as a pop/cumbia song, Paty wised up and recorded a faggy dance version. THANK GOD!

7. Más es más - Fangoria
Produced by Tony James and Neal X of Sigue Sigue Sputnik, Fangoria delivered another trashy dark dance anthem only the way they can. I don't know what else to say. Alaska is my goddess. Enough said.

6. Here We Go Again - Demi Lovato
When Demi Lovato's debut single Get Back became my guilty pleasure, I figured I'd give her sophmore effort a chance as well. I kid you not when I say I listened to this song probably more than any other song on this list. I just love this song. I know sometimes I have the musical taste of a 12 year old girl. I'm ok with that.

5. Mi delirio - Anahí
I always found Anahí to be the most annoying of the RBD bunch. She has a barely there voice; her horse teeth bothered me as did her orange tan. But when I saw her perform this song on this year's Premios Juventud, I was in gay heaven! What a great slice of electro pop. To top it off it was produced by Mexican electro hipsters Kinky! What's not to love! It only took her several flop albums and a stint in RBD to finally win me over.

4. I Could Break Your Heart Any Day Of The Week - Mandy Moore
Mandy Moore's last album Wild Hope is one of my favorite albums of this decade without a doubt. While I thought the follow up was a tad boring, it's lead single was pure pop perfection. How many p's was that? What a fun upeat song that's perfect to sing along to at the top of your lungs!

3. H.A.T.E.U. (Remix) - Mariah Carey feat. OJ Da Juice Man, Gucci Mane & Big Boi
Two things I don't like in one remix. Rent a rappers and Mooriah Carey. But I would like to personally thank the genious that mashed Ghost Town DJ's hit My Boo with one of Mooriah's turds from her last clunker of an album. HOLY SH*T is this hot! HOT! HOT! HOT!

2. Million Dollar Bill - Whitney Houston
Whitney came back in a huge way this year. What with a #1 album, the Oprah interview that nobody missed. While the first single from her comeback was a snoozer, it was this fierce song that won me over. Even though Alicia Keys and her hairy chest were involved still couldn't keep me away! This is by far her best single since the trash classic that was My Name Is Not Susan. Welcome back Nippy!

1. Tardy For The Party - Kim Zolciak
Kim and her pile of wig released what has to be the trashiest, campiest song of 2009. Horrid lyrics (third glass of wine by 9...girlfriend is speaking my language), a cover that looks like it was done in Paint via Windows 95. What's not to love? Let's all rejoice in the year's trashiest musical moment. ¡Viva Kim!


Sexbox said...

OMIGOD...I love all of your choices (well except for the few I never heard before). Glad to see Toy Toy gets some love on Milkcarton Popstars!

Mike said...

It's so funny - I'm putting together my list for Pop Trash Addicts and the amount of crossover is fucking scary! We really are soul sisters if you ignore my Beyonce obsession.

I have one issue though. Toy Toy only at #23?! What the? "Home" was my #1 song of 2007 on my inaugural countdown.

Stunning list X

Nasty G said...

Love many of your choices, but you are spot on with your #1! Kim is QUEEN!!!

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